Working with Long-Standing Emotional Patterns

I work with adults who want to understand and shift long-standing emotional and relationship patterns, often rooted in early experience, so they can live with greater clarity, ease, and self-trust.

 

Many of the people I work with are thoughtful, capable, and reflective. They often value relationships deeply and may have spent years trying to understand themselves — sometimes through previous therapy, sometimes through a great deal of personal reflection. Despite this, certain patterns continue to repeat, particularly in relationships or in how they relate to themselves.

 

This work isn’t about quick fixes or surface change. It’s about developing a deeper understanding of why these patterns exist, and creating the internal conditions that allow something new to emerge.

 

Why these patterns persist

 

 

Early emotional environments shape how we cope, connect, and make sense of ourselves. When care, emotional attunement, or safety were limited or inconsistent, people adapt in intelligent ways. Those adaptations often continue into adulthood, even when circumstances have changed.

 

As adults, this can be experienced as:

 

• repeated difficulties in relationships, even when connection matters deeply

• emotional responses that feel intense, muted, or difficult to place

• persistent self-criticism or internal pressure

• grief that has depth and history

• a sense of constant effort or sadness

 

 

These patterns are meaningful responses that benefit from careful, respectful understanding.

 

How therapy helps

 

 

Therapy with me is collaborative and thoughtful. We work together to understand the patterns shaping your inner life and relationships, and to loosen their hold.

 

People often experience:

 

• significant insight that brings real clarity

• a growing sense of internal ease

• renewed hope after carrying something for a long time

• more choice in how they respond, rather than feeling pulled by old momentum

 

 

My approach is relational and developmentally informed. We pay attention not only to what’s happening in your life, but also to what emerges within the therapeutic relationship, as this often provides valuable information and opportunities for change.

 

I draw on psychodynamic thinking alongside evidence-based approaches, always adapting the work to suit you.

 

Why work with me

 

 

I offer a calm, grounded space where you don’t need to perform therapy “correctly”. I won’t rush the process, pathologise your experience, or push for insight before it’s ready.

 

I work alongside you — thinking with you rather than at you. For the time we work together, your difficulty is something I help hold and make sense of, until it feels lighter and more workable.

 

My experience comes from many years working across mental health settings, as well as from having engaged deeply in therapy myself. I understand the process from the inside, including the uncertainty, resistance, and relational complexity that can arise.

 

The aim is not simply change, but a more settled sense of being at home in yourself.

 

Frequently asked questions

 

 

Do I need to know exactly what I want to work on?

No. Many people begin with a sense that something isn’t quite sitting right. Clarifying that together is part of the work.

 

Is this therapy long-term?

It can be. Some people prefer focused work; others value longer-term space to explore patterns more deeply. We decide this collaboratively.

 

Do you work with men?

Yes. I work with many men and value the depth and thoughtfulness they bring to therapy.

 

Is therapy online?

Yes. Most of the sessions are offered online.

 

What’s the first step?

An initial consultation gives us space to talk about what you’re hoping for and whether working together feels like the right fit.

 

Next steps

 

 

if this approach resonates, the next step is an initial consultation. You don’t need to have everything worked out — we can begin from where you are.