Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect in Adults Many adults make it well into their 30s, 40s, or even later before realising their anxiety, shame, or relationship struggles connect back to something subtle that happened in childhood — or more accurately, something that didn’t happen. Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) isn’t about dramatic events. It’s about the quiet absence of emotional responsiveness, understanding, or support. Nothing explosive. Nothing “obvious.” And that’s

Many adults come to therapy saying: “I don’t know what I feel.” “I’m just… fine.” “I disconnect without meaning to.” “I struggle to find the words.” This isn’t apathy or a lack of depth. It’s a form of emotional disconnection , often shaped by childhood experiences or chronic stress. Understanding Emotional Disconnection Emotional disconnection can be confusing. It often feels like a fog that prevents you from understanding your feelings. This disconnection is not a sign of w

You tell yourself you’re fine. You’re strong, understanding, patient. You don’t ask for much.But deep down, there’s that quiet ache — the sense that something’s missing, that you’re always giving more than you receive. You try to be reasonable, to not ask for too much. You tell yourself your partner’s just stressed, tired, not great at talking about emotions. You make excuses because you love them  — and because part of you still believes that if you’re kind enough, patient e

Some people grow up learning that they can cope with almost anything. They find a way through, they manage, they hold things together. Other people see them as strong, capable, steady. And in many ways, they are. They get on with things. They don’t tend to ask for help. They’ve been doing that for a very long time. Often the people I work with reach a point — usually in mid-life — where this way of coping begins to feel heavier. The body and the emotional life start to ask fo

Many people, when they were little, were in some way left a bit to the side  in their family of origin.They were given what they needed in practical ways — meals, schooling, clothing — but something in the emotional life of the family  didn’t quite include them. A sense of being there, but not quite met .A little invisible , somehow. Often these are people with kind temperaments , who are naturally able to understand others and respond to them.And as part of their survival sy

Coping is part of being human. As children, we learn ways of getting through difficult circumstances, often without realising we’re doing...

Many people struggle with a deep fear of abandonment — the worry that a partner or loved one might leave, withdraw, or forget them. Often, it shows up as anxiety, jealousy, or suspicion, even when the relationship itself seems stable. If you recognise yourself in this, you’re not alone. As a therapist, I often meet people who describe anxiety but don’t yet realise that abandonment fears are underneath. They might say they feel anxious when their partner goes out for the eveni

Who Am I, Really? The self is not a fixed thing—it’s shaped through relationships. Psychodynamic theory asks, Do we ever truly know...

Many adults carry a quiet sense that something is off, though they can’t quite put their finger on it. They might go through life with a nagging feeling of emptiness, or a tendency to overthink, or an inability to truly connect with others. Yet, they often don’t recognise these as signs of something deeper. For those who experienced neglect as children, the past doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Instead, it weaves itself into the fabric of daily life, unnoticed and unnam

Childhood neglect leaves a mark. It’s not always visible, and it doesn’t scream for attention the way other wounds might. Instead, it...