If you’ve ever found yourself longing for someone who sends mixed signals, pulls close then withdraws, or gives you intense connection followed by silence, you’re not alone — and you’re not weak. Two forces are working together: 1. Childhood emotional neglect 2. The dopamine–intermittent reinforcement cycle Together, they create a powerful emotional and neurological pull that can feel almost impossible to break. This is not a character flaw. It’s a pattern rooted in your earl

Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect in Adults Many adults make it well into their 30s, 40s, or even later before realising their anxiety, shame, or relationship struggles connect back to something subtle that happened in childhood — or more accurately, something that didn’t happen. Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) isn’t about dramatic events. It’s about the quiet absence of emotional responsiveness, understanding, or support. Nothing explosive. Nothing “obvious.” And that’s

Many adults come to therapy saying: “I don’t know what I feel.” “I’m just… fine.” “I disconnect without meaning to.” “I struggle to find the words.” This isn’t apathy or lack of depth. It’s a form of emotional disconnection , often shaped by childhood experiences or chronic stress. Why emotional disconnection develops There are a few common pathways: 1. Growing up with unpredictable or overwhelming emotions Children in these environments learn to keep emotions low, quiet, or

You tell yourself you’re fine. You’re strong, understanding, patient. You don’t ask for much.But deep down, there’s that quiet ache — the sense that something’s missing, that you’re always giving more than you receive. You try to be reasonable, to not ask for too much. You tell yourself your partner’s just stressed, tired, not great at talking about emotions. You make excuses because you love them  — and because part of you still believes that if you’re kind enough, patient e

When You’re the One Everyone Relies On — But You’re Running on Empty From the outside, you look like you’re doing great. You show up, get things done, stay calm under pressure. People trust you. They depend on you. But lately, it’s taking more out of you than anyone realises. You wake up already tense, your mind racing with to-do lists before you’ve even left bed. You’re exhausted but wired, too used to holding it all together to know how to stop. You tell yourself, “I should

Feeling stuck or lacking the drive to pursue your goals can be frustrating. Motivation is the fuel that powers our actions, but sometimes it runs low. Fortunately, there are effective ways to reignite that inner fire. One powerful approach gaining attention is hypnotherapy. This technique taps into the subconscious mind to help overcome mental blocks and boost motivation naturally. Understanding Motivation Through Hypnotherapy Hypnotherapy is a therapeutic method that uses gu

(How Therapy Helps When You’ve Been Coping Alone for a Long Time) People are often curious about what actually happens in the therapy room. Many of the people who come to work with me have been circling the idea of therapy for a long time. They’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, followed thoughtful voices online. Some work in healthcare or support roles themselves. They are insightful, reflective, and self-aware — and yet, there is something they haven’t quite been

Some people grow up learning that they can cope with almost anything. They find a way through, they manage, they hold things together. Other people see them as strong, capable, steady. And in many ways, they are. They get on with things. They don’t tend to ask for help. They’ve been doing that for a very long time. Often the people I work with reach a point — usually in mid-life — where this way of coping begins to feel heavier. The body and the emotional life start to ask fo

Many people, when they were little, were in some way left a bit to the side  in their family of origin.They were given what they needed in practical ways — meals, schooling, clothing — but something in the emotional life of the family  didn’t quite include them. A sense of being there, but not quite met .A little invisible , somehow. Often these are people with kind temperaments , who are naturally able to understand others and respond to them.And as part of their survival sy

Patterns of Emotional Disconnection: Finding the Compass Back to Yourself Some people grow up without much nurturance. Nurturance is a basic childhood psychological need. To develop into healthy adults, children need to be nurtured. This is part of the healthy attachment system. If the side of a child that longs to be soothed isn’t looked after, they can grow into adults who don’t know what nurturance is. They may not understand what it feels like or even that this missing p

Coping is part of being human. As children, we learn ways of getting through difficult circumstances, often without realising we’re doing...

Many people struggle with a deep fear of abandonment — the worry that a partner or loved one might leave, withdraw, or forget them....

Feeling low, stuck, or weighed down by depression can make even the smallest steps feel overwhelming. Reaching out for therapy is a brave...

Signs it might be time to reach out for help: Life can be overwhelming at times, and it’s easy to push through challenges thinking, I can...

Anxiety is something most of us experience in different forms — sometimes it’s a racing heart, tight chest, or a restless feeling in the...

Why do I keep repeating the same patterns? Discover how early experiences shape beliefs and habits — and how therapy can help you change...

What’s wrong with me? If you’ve asked this and can’t find an answer, discover why self-analysis keeps you stuck — and how therapy offers...

Is coping your disguise? Discover the hidden cost of always being capable, and how therapy can help you feel seen and supported. People...

Struggle to sit still or relax? Discover why restlessness takes over in quiet moments, and how therapy can help you find calm. Do you...

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is a wonderful therapy. It’s practical, evidence-based, and for many people it brings real relief....