Nothing Has Worked: When other therapies Helped — But You’re Still Stuck

Many of the people I work with come to therapy having already tried other approaches.

Some have had counselling — and for many, it has been genuinely helpful. They’ve felt listened to. Their experiences have been validated. They’ve had someone walk alongside them during difficult periods of their life.

That kind of therapeutic relationship matters. It can be deeply containing and meaningful.

And yet, a familiar sentence often appears quietly in the room:

“I understand myself more… but nothing has really changed.”

When insight isn’t enough

Others have worked hard in CBT.

CBT can be extremely effective — particularly for anxiety, behaviour change, and understanding how thoughts influence feelings. It’s structured, practical, and focused on the here and now.

Many people benefit from CBT tools.

But some are left feeling that, despite all their effort:

• the same emotional reactions keep returning

• the same relationship patterns repeat

• the body still reacts before the mind can catch up

They know why they feel the way they do — but that knowledge doesn’t always bring relief.

This often means the work needs to go deeper, not just more rational.

How schema therapy works differently

Schema therapy builds on counselling and CBT rather than replacing them.

It brings in areas that are often missed when therapy stays mostly cognitive.

Schema therapy is:

• relational – what happens between people matters

• somatic – emotions and bodily responses are included

• experiential – change happens through lived experience, not just discussion

Instead of only asking “What are you thinking?”, we also explore:

• “What part of you is reacting right now?”

• “How old does this feeling feel?”

• “When did this pattern first become necessary?”

The aim isn’t to analyse or fix you. It’s to understand how your personality and coping patterns developed — and why they still show up today.

Therapy as understanding your story

Schema therapy often feels like working with a life story rather than a list of problems.

Together, we look at:

• the emotional environment you grew up in

• what you had to adapt to in order to cope

• which parts of you learned to take control

Not to dwell in the past — but to make sense of the present.

Over time, people start to recognise parts of themselves such as:

• the part that overthinks

• the part that shuts down

• the part that people-pleases

• the part that stays on guard

Instead of battling these parts, we begin to understand why they exist.

Because every one of them once helped you survive.

What actually changes

As this understanding deepens, something important shifts.

Protective parts no longer need to work so hard. Other parts — calmer, more grounded, more self-trusting — begin to re-emerge.

Not because they were taught or forced, but because they were there all along.

People often describe changes like:

• reacting less intensely without trying

• feeling more like themselves

• noticing emotions without being overwhelmed by them

This isn’t coaching or positive thinking.

It’s integration.

If you’re thinking “nothing has worked”

If therapy has helped you understand your experiences but not feel different…If you’ve gained insight but still feel emotionally stuck…If you’re tired of trying to fix yourself…

It may not be that nothing has worked.

It may be that the next layer simply hasn’t been reached yet.

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