Recognise your emotional patterns
Which patterns feel familiar?
Our reactions often follow familiar patterns shaped by experience. Recognising them helps explain why we respond as we do—and where we can begin to make changes. Explore six common patterns below.
The Six Emotional Patterns
Responsibility
You like being useful and getting things sorted, but feel responsible for others and guilty stepping back—even when you’re tired or resentful.
Read more about Responsibility Guide
Pleasing
You keep other people happy and avoid conflict, but people-pleasing makes it hard to say no or express what you want—leaving you frustrated or resentful.
Control
You like things planned and done properly, but perfectionism and the need for control make uncertainty, mistakes and switching off difficult.
Vigilance
You notice small changes and anticipate problems, but staying on alert leads to overthinking, tension and difficulty switching off—even when things are going well.
Numbness
You carry on with daily life but feel emotionally numb or disconnected. It can be hard to feel enjoyment, know what you need or feel close to others.
Withdrawal
You carry on with daily life but feel emotionally numb or disconnected. It can be hard to feel enjoyment, know what you need or feel close to others.
Resources and downloads
This section includes practical and reflective resources designed to help you better understand emotional patterns and begin responding differently.
What can therapy offer you?
All resources developed by and copyright to Gem Thomson, BABCP-accredited trauma psychotherapist and Clinical Director of Connection Psychotherapy, Glasgow. All rights reserved.
Therapy & Consultation
Some people use these resources independently.
Others decide they would like therapy support alongside this work, particularly where patterns are linked to anxiety, trauma, relationship difficulties, emotional overwhelm, or long-standing ways of coping.
Therapy is collaborative, thoughtful, and tailored to the individual.
Approaches may include:
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CBT
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EMDR
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Schema Therapy
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Attachment-informed work
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Relational and developmental approaches
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Sessions are available online across the UK.