Is coping your disguise? Discover the hidden cost of always being capable, and how therapy can help you feel seen and supported. People might see you as strong, capable, and always coping — but inside, it can feel very different. Is there a part of you that always stays busy, competent, and capable? Maybe you’re the one who looks after others, focuses on work, and just gets on with it. People might even call you strong. But sometimes “being strong” is really just survival. Of

Struggle to sit still or relax? Discover why restlessness takes over in quiet moments, and how therapy can help you find calm. Do you ever find yourself with a rare quiet moment — the telly’s off, the phone’s down, the to-do list is finished, there are no clubs to go to, and work has ended — and instead of feeling calm, the idea of sitting in silence fills you with dread? For many people, stillness makes the nervous system spring into action. You feel you have to move, to do,

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is a wonderful therapy. It’s practical, evidence-based, and for many people it brings real relief. But sometimes, CBT alone isn’t enough. You can learn all the tools, practise the techniques, and still find yourself pulled back into the same old patterns. That’s not because you’re “doing CBT wrong.” It’s often because the things that keep us stuck aren’t just habits of thinking—they’re protective strategies that once kept us safe when we we

When restlessness hides an invisible grief Have you ever tried sitting in stillness—just for five minutes? No sound, no distractions,...

Narcissistic Traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) vs. Immature Parents Understanding the difference between narcissistic traits, full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and immature parenting can help you make sense of confusing or painful relationships. 1. Narcissistic Traits (Mild or Situational) These are common personality features that many people might show from time to time, especially under stress or when insecure. Examples include: Needing p

In my work, I often meet people who have spent years navigating life feeling a bit “off.” This may happen in social situations, work environments, or even while sitting quietly by themselves. The Impact of Stillness It’s in these moments of stillness—when we’re not distracted, not performing, and not doing—that our past can catch up with us. For some, this manifests as a quiet unease. For others, it arrives as an overwhelming wave that seems to come from nowhere. We might cal

Let’s be honest—most people don’t think about therapy unless something feels broken. You might be struggling to cope, feeling stuck, or...

Who Am I, Really? The self is not a fixed thing—it’s shaped through relationships. Psychodynamic theory asks, Do we ever truly know ourselves? We build our sense of self alongside others. If early relationships were unstable or lacking, our identity can feel fragmented, pulling us in different directions. We might ask, Which of these selves is really me? As Lola Young puts it in Messy: "A thousand people I could be for you and you hate the fucking lot". Good enough parenting—

Watching The Iron Claw, I was struck by the childlike quality of the main character, played by Zac Efron. There is something profoundly young about him, as though part of him never quite had the chance to develop in the presence of a safe, emotionally attuned adult. At first, parts of the family picture appear almost idyllic. The boys are action-oriented, competing, wrestling, and striving together in ways that seem natural within the world they inhabit. There is energy, phys

Many people go through life unaware that their childhood experiences of emotional neglect or abuse are still affecting them. Often, it isn’t until adulthood, when symptoms start to surface, that they begin to realise something is amiss. Emotional neglect can be subtle and invisible, making it easy to overlook. Unlike physical neglect or abuse, which may leave visible signs like bruises or clear evidence of deprivation, emotional neglect leaves behind scars that are harder to

How emotional neglect can affect you, even when there are no obvious traumatic memories Have you ever had a sense that something is a bit off? Maybe a low-level emptiness, a sense of shame, or loneliness. A tendency to overthink. A difficulty really connecting with people, even when you want to. Many people arrive in therapy with a version of the same question: "Nothing happened to me. So why do I feel like this?" In fact, I hear it so often that it became the title of my boo

Childhood neglect leaves a mark. It’s not always visible, and it doesn’t scream for attention the way other wounds might. Instead, it whispers through the cracks in adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we navigate the world. For those who experienced neglect as children, life becomes a delicate dance between surviving and living—between the old patterns that once kept them safe and the present moment that asks for something new. Neglect te

Breaking free from harmful behavioral patterns can feel impossible. These patterns often feel like second nature, woven so tightly into...

How to Heal and Thrive as an Adult Raised by Narcissistic Parents Growing up with narcissistic parents can have lasting emotional effects that impact every aspect of your adult life. From distorted self-worth to difficulty in forming healthy relationships, the scars of being raised by a narcissist can linger long after you leave the family home. However, it’s possible to heal and reclaim your life. In this post, we’ll explore common signs that you were raised by narcissistic

Exploring Adult Attachment Styles in Relationships through the Lens of Schema Therapy Introduction: In adult relationships, whether...

Understanding Coping Modes in Schema Therapy: In Schema Therapy, coping modes refer to the different ways individuals adapt or respond to their emotional schemas. These coping mechanisms are often learned in childhood as a way of dealing with distressing emotions or unmet needs, but they can become maladaptive over time, leading to emotional difficulties and relational problems. Common Coping Modes in Schema Therapy Avoidant Coping Mode Description: In this mode, individuals

Why Choose CBT Therapy in Scotland? CBT is one of the most highly recommended therapies by mental health professionals, and it has a strong presence in Scotland and worldwide. Here’s why it’s a popular therapy choice: Evidence-Based and Effective: CBT has been extensively researched and proven to be effective for treating a wide range of mental health conditions, including: Anxiety Disorders (generalised anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety) Depression Stress Management Obs

Schemas The 18 Original Early Maladaptive Schemas (according to Jeffrey Young): Abandonment/Instability – The belief that close relationships are unstable and unreliable, leading to fears of abandonment. Mistrust/Abuse – The expectation that others will hurt, abuse, or betray you. Emotional Deprivation – The belief that emotional needs will not be met by others. Defectiveness/Shame – The feeling that one is fundamentally flawed, unworthy, or not good enough. Social Isolation/

How Therapy Helps: Benefits and Impact on Mental Health Therapy, also known as counseling or psychotherapy, is a powerful tool that can significantly improve mental well-being. It provides individuals with the opportunity to address emotional, psychological, and behavioral challenges in a safe, supportive environment. Here's how therapy can help: 1. Improves Mental Health and Emotional Well-being Therapy helps individuals understand and manage their emotions. It can be partic